Empathic Wisdom Series, Week 3: When Exactly Were the Good Ole Days?
Here is a question that has perplexed me for the past 5 years, “Are we more divided than ever or have our divisions merely been revealed to us?”
Public discourse has shifted in America over the past decade. The partisan political divide, which is a distinctive feature of our country, has widened. Social media has added to the polarization, mainstreaming voices that were previously ignored or lacked a platform. Beyond political parties, people are quick to identify themselves according to their beliefs about vaccines, mask mandates, election results, and social justice movements. All this social tension has led many to long for kinder, gentler, days when America was more unified. I can’t go a day on social media without someone sharing a meme that boils down to, “If we would all just be nicer, more neighborly, kinder like we used to, the world would be a better place.”
Those sentiments sound good, but are they true? Were we actually unified 10 years ago? 20? 50? 100? Are there good ole days to return to? Or is this who we have always been?
Whether or not you want to turn back the clock is dependent on how you view our past. For some, “The Andy Griffith Show” is the pinnacle of what used to be, a hit of nostalgia. Good people, good neighbors, going about their life, caring for one another, showing decency, this is what America used to be! If only we could go back to this time. Of course, that show wasn’t a documentary, it was a work of fiction that never actually captured a true picture of America. Absent from its stories were true conflict, segregation, civil rights demonstrations, the war in Vietnam, and the counter cultures emerging in the 1960s. Even then its popularity was rooted in the escapism of the world it showed. This, of course, is what nostalgia is, a warped remembering of the past that turns it into an idealized version of what actually happened.
If we talk about fixing our country by being nicer, coming to the middle, or learning how to be neighbors again, we are deluding ourselves. Certainly kindness, efforts to work across the political aisle, and a commitment to our neighbors are better than armed conflict, segregation, animosity, a morality rooted in excessive individualism, and the vitriol that fills every form of media. Being nicer is not a solution to our true problems. What ails us as a people goes far beyond manners and good intentions.
Whether or not you want to turn back the clock is dependent on how you view our past.
As Christians, the call to unity permeates scripture. In Jesus’ prayer, found in John 17, unity is Jesus’ dream for the church, the thing that will make it clear to the world that his disciple’s belong to him. Paul names unity as a mark of maturity for the church in Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, Philippians, and Colossians. An essential part of proclaiming the Lordship of Jesus is a community united in life with Christ. In a world of division, animosity, and hatred, the thing that is supposed to shout to the rest of the world that something new is happening, that a new kingdom is here, and there is a new Lord of all, is a unified community that crosses all the divisive categories of the world around them. The church isn’t supposed to make sense! It is supposed to be miraculous, a people who share a common identity that unifies them over and against everything else. In our divided country the church has a role to play that no one else can or will play. So how do we work towards unity?
The Contrarian Way
In 1 Peter the author is writing to a group of people living at the margins of their culture. The churches addressed in the letter are living in an outpost of the Roman Empire, a vast, wild, diverse, culture where they are outsiders in every way. The churches were filled with exiles, foreigners, immigrants, and slaves. The letter serves as an encouragement to these churches, but also as a challenge. The author is working to shape and form these churches so that they can experience the presence of God in their lives and help to reshape their communities. This is an audacious goal as the people receiving this letter have no political, economic, or religious power or influence. And yet they have an ability to not only experience God’s work, but to be part of it.
In chapter 3 we find a description of the ethical and moral character these churches are called to live out to impact the culture around them. 1 Peter 3:8-9 says, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
This contrarian way, an alternative to how the world normally works, is the way of empathic wisdom. There are five adjectives used to describe the church: like-minded, sympathetic, familial love, compassion, and humility. In these words, we are given a multilayered understanding of how God - working in and through us, as a community - allows us to achieve unity within the church and extend reconciliation to the world. All of this is lived out in the ethic of Christ, which is repaying evil with blessing, an ethic of non-retaliation.
Being like-minded is the foundation for this change. This is not groupthink, this is surrender. Unity begins when we repent and give our way of seeing ourselves and the world over to the mind of Christ. There is no possibility of unity if Christ is not the foundation.
The Greek word translated in most English versions as sympathy is a fascinating and beautiful word. It belongs to a family of words that carry with them the sense of feeling along with others. In English we would attach sympathy, empathy, and compassion in all their nuance to these words. Here, the author includes both sympathy and compassion in the list of virtues within the church. The idea here goes far beyond pity. Compassion and sympathy are more about seeing the distress of another and being moved. It is an emotional and even spiritual response to their suffering.
“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8-9
Combining these words with philadephia, brotherly or familial love, and humility, we can see a completely new way of living being described. Yes, the church’s life is to be one marked by sympathy and compassion, but more powerfully it is to be marked by an intentional and empathic understanding of the suffering and pain of others, and then living in active response to this knowledge. This is a calling to embrace, understand, and seek the blessing of all people. There are no barriers to this calling, just as the work of Christ had no barriers. Christ died for the sin of all, that all would be drawn to his kingdom. So too does the church engage in this work by being led along a path of familial love that unifies us in our embrace of others.
What is most shocking about this contrarian way is that those being called to live this way in 1 Peter have no power. They themselves live in poverty, oppression, and suffering. And yet their call is to learn how to understand and empathize with those who are oppressing them and to return evil with blessing. The pursuit of this life will unify the church, empower them, sanctify them, encourage them, and provide a powerful alternative witness to those around them. So, how does this calling translate to the American church today?
Tolerance Isn’t Enough
If we do not understand, empathize with, have compassion upon, and humble ourselves before each other as the church, what hope do we have of living out the ethic of Christ to the world? If we cannot choose blessing as the response to evil, if we do not live our lives in pursuit of peace, what validity does our witness have to the world? Without empathic wisdom, how will be ever know the mind of Christ?
If we desire to see our country transformed, we must begin with ourselves. Our churches must become communities of reconciliation, crossing the cultural boundaries that separate us. This will require leaving behind insufficient means of healing. Our culture offers us answers such as tolerance, being neighborly, and a nostalgic return to a time when the world felt less divided. But none of those bring about change. Tolerance is better than intolerance, but not nearly beautiful enough for those transformed by the love of God. We are called to reconciliation. Being neighborly is great, but it must be defined by Christ’s call to love our neighbor as ourselves, not politeness. Nostalgia lies to us. We have always been divided. The American church has always struggled to not mirror the divisive cultural categories of race, socioeconomic status, or political affiliation. We cannot look to our culture for answers, instead we must offer our culture a contrarian way, a way of empathy, that can produce true reconciliation.
Start your empathy journey by exploring Ideos Institute’s The Way of Empathy as a spiritual practice that can help you better love God and love your neighbor.
